lonely teardrops

sometimes people cry when they feel lonely. they feel alone in the world and have no one to lean on or go to....... the girls that came back from encounter said it was such a fulfilling experience and that they became close with everyone especially people they normally don't talk to....... I can't wait to go to my encounter in march.. to fully open open and to let go of all the things i've been hiding and holding back. i'm kind of scared to open up because for the past years that's all i've been doing: crying and opening up and venting out my problems. but for some reason, this year i haven't opened up at all, and it seems to the point where I don't let anyone in and it's screwing me over. I guess from years of always crying and venting out my problems, i've trained to be strong and learned not to cry and keep it to myself. But I feel like it's not healthy anymore keeping everything hidden. I haven't cried in a year and I feel like I need to but I can't... I feel like I need to let everything out..........